It was just like Sen had said it would be. All of a sudden, she just knew it was here. It felt like time was catching up to itself so she could be hurled back into her own world. Grace knew that there was no stopping it. She had just a few moments before all of the knowledge of this place would leave her, the Love, the Magic, the Pain, the Boy.
Her heart, even though it had been Uncovered and glistened with the essence of pure emotion, began to break. A small and life-altering crack edged along the perimeter. It made a quiet rolling gesture along the surface of her heart and then as time found its trail of breadcrumbs back home, the crack made for the center. It struck with the force of lightning. All it left in its wake was a single Love letter. A song he sang to her playing over and over again filling the void where her memory once was.
When she opened her eyes, she was alone in her bathroom again. The knife she held so long ago, was lying lifeless in the sink and all she could do was hum a strangely familiar tune, though she wasn’t sure where she had heard it before.
Her senses in this world were peaked … Grace could hear things she couldn’t see, see things she couldn’t feel and feel things she couldn’t imagine.
This place didn’t have incessant needs to answer. It didn’t have constant reminders of shoulds, coulds and woulds, and it didn’t speak to her like the world she came from. This world was more like a meditation. It didn’t imprint on her, but rather for the first time since she was six, she felt like she was imprinting on something else … she felt a need rise up … Her chest convulsing, her breath irregular, her eyes tearing, she sobbed as this need found its home inside of her. It had been there so long that it lay deep in her blood, her bones and in the chambers of her heart. How could she not know it was there all this time? She fell to the ground, knees catching her. Her hands pounded the grass as her eyes leaked a bright hazel green into the ground. As her chest convulsed with the power of needing to imprint, Grace let go of something, of a part of herself and as she did, a second Grace flickered into existence, naked beside her. Hands pounding the grass, on her knees leaking bright green hazel color into the ground. Grace’s heart returned to one heartbeat; her vision was clear again, her hands stopped trembling. The calm was gone. Grace felt confidence. Grace felt acceptance. Grace felt Love.
Jocelyn Bates is a homeschooling mama to three and an arts therapist. She lives in NJ and writes in the elusive quiet that settles in the earliest of hours.